Thursday, March 11, 2010
urghh...chicken pox ( survive the battle)
eclipse is coming....
. I know you’re all excited!
Are they hot or what? 
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
more fun
www.funquizcards.com
till then..
marriage without regrets..
Marriage Without Regrets
If you really want a marriage without regrets
- Resolving conflict in marriage
- Understanding each partner’s role
- Becoming financially wise
- Respecting and keeping marriage vows
Getting married for the wrong reasons can quickly lead to an unhappy marriage ending in divorce, because couples did not prepare for marriage properly, were too young to get married or didn’t consider the fact that being married and being happily married are two entirely different things.
abusive `relationship
Is he using alcohol or drugs?
Does he have extreme mood swings? Happy one minute and angry the next?
Is he extremely jealous? Does he get angry if other boys pay attention to you or speak to you?
Does he use force during an argument? Has he ever pushed , shoved, hit or slapped you?
Does he blame others or make excuses about his problems or behaviors?
Is he verbally abusive to you? Yelling, putting you down, calling you names or threatening you?
Does he treat his mother with disrespect? Is he mean to her?
Does he try to tell you what to do, who you can or cannot see, who you can or cannot talk to?
Does he try to keep you away from your family or your friends, expecting you to spend all your time with him?
Does he criticize your family, telling you that he knows what is best for you and your family is wrong?
He doesn’t want you to tell your family or friends about the problems between the two of you.
He makes you feel guilty when you don’t want to have sex.
He pressures you into having sex with him when you don’t want to.
Physically forces you to have sex after you have said no.
Doesn’t accept or respect your decisions.
When chatting or instant messaging, he gets upset when you aren’t answering fast enough.
Implies that you lie or directly calls you a liar.
Doesn’t trust you.
Checks up on you. Tells you his friends at school are “keeping an eye on you.”
Comes to your home, school or workplace uninvited or unexpected to check up on you.
Keeps sending text messages or calling repeatedly if you don’t answer fast enough.
Hangs up the phone when he is talking to you.
Gives you the silent treatment.
Expects you to follow him and ask him what’s wrong when he walks off.
Apologizes but then does the same thing again and again.
Blames you for things he does.
Makes you feel guilty for not spending more time with him.
Tells you what you “should” do.
Tells you to do things rather than asking you to do them.
Says he can’t live with you or he will kill himself if you leave him.
Makes you feel responsible for his feelings.
Makes you afraid of telling him the truth, so you find yourself not telling him things or lying to him to avoid fights and conflicts.
Tells you what to do or not do, where to go or not go.
Telling you who to be friends with, or he doesn’t like your friends.
Telling you how to dress, how to wear your hair or make-up.
Telling you how to act, who to talk to or not talk to.
Wanting to know where you are at all times, who you are with.
Calling you to make sure you are where you said you would be.
Phoning, messaging you a lot each day.
He goes through your things; checks your phone to see who is calling or messaging you.
Starts a fight with you right before you need to leave to go home or out with your friends.
Obsessed with you; has to be a part of everything you do.
Reality check:
Remember, love doesn’t hurt. It’s not a feeling. It’s a behavior. Asking yourself these questions to find out if you’re “in love” or “in danger” can mean the difference between having a happy, healthy relationship or an abusive relationship, full of pain and misery. If your answers to these questions have caused you any sense of concern or alarm about your relationship, it’s time to turn to a family member or an adult you trust for help. Leaving an abusive relationship could save your life. Don’t be a statistic.
Tips for working moms out there..
Working moms have a lot on their plates, and sometimes it's hard to figure out how to deal with it all. The following list, created by motivational speaker and trainer Joan Woods, will help the stressed out and tension filled working mom prioritize what is important and what can be actually be done without killing yourself.
o Change your response to the world - it's not the stressor but our response to it.
o Laughter is the best medicine - there's no fun in medicine but a lot of medicine in fun.
o Become productive not destructive - learn lessons from life; don't keep making the same mistakes.
o Be a 'Competent Coper' - know when perfection is not possible and adjust.
o Get rid of anger - know your stress threshold.
o Make a 'hit-list' - "so much to do in so little time" so prioritize; do what you can, now.
o Nurture your spirituality - find peace of mind, regularly.
o Stop Procrastinating! - set achievable goals. Don't fail to plan or you'll plan to fail.
o "Don't go there" - that well known phrase that, to me, means anywhere negative, critical, unsupportive, or that causes you to lose control, self-respect, or your mind!
o Slow Down - get a hobby... take a vacation, make use of the present moment
With these insights to de-stressing your life as a busy working mom, you will be able to take the tension out of your daily routine and start to focus on the things that actually matter.
be a good mother-in-law
Some common son or daughter-in-law complaints include phrases like, “My mother-in-law hates me”, “I hate my mother-in-law” and, “I have a crazy mother-in-law from hell”. Some women refer to their mother-in-law as domineering, manipulative, overbearing, meddling and even jealous. Therefore, it’s important to ask yourself some questions regarding your attitude and behavior towards your son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
Are you over-involved? Are you too critical? Are you being judgmental, injecting your opinion into their lives too much? Are you having trouble letting go? Is your son or daughter-in-law’s religion wrong, or his/her clothes not to your liking? Are you upset about how the children are being raised, or how your son-in-law or daughter-in-law does things in the home? Be honest with yourself in how you answer these questions because it’s not a matter of intentions; it’s a matter of how your attitude and actions are perceived.
Tips on How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law
Don’t compete with your son-in-law or daughter-in-law. Don’t try and bargain for time with your son or daughter, but remember he/she want and need to spend time with their parents and friends too, so don’t expect them to spend every weekend or holiday with you. Your son/daughter has chosen and married someone from another family, with other family loyalties and traditions to attend to, merging an entirely different family dynamic with yours. This does not mean you are no longer a mom, but your duties and role as a mother have changed exponentially.
Learn to let go. Your son/daughter is an adult now and you raised him/her well, making his/her own choices and decisions as he/she should, and some of those will not be to your liking. Don’t fall victim to the mindset of thinking of your son/daughter as an eternal child, “mommy’s little boy” as it’s often referred to. Your son/daughter made an adult decision and chose this woman/man to be his/her wife/husband, someone whom he/she believes is best suited for him or her, a woman/man he or she obviously loves and adores and who he/she feels can and will care for his or her needs. Maybe, just maybe, he/she married someone just like you and that is why there is so much animosity between you and your son-in-law or daughter-in-law. He/she can’t be all bad; he or she did make a wise choice in picking your son or daughter to be her husband or wife!
Treat him/her as a friend, not like you are his/her mother. Recognize that your son or daughter-in-law is a person with their own interests, feelings, needs, beliefs, opinions, history and traditions. Don’t look for faults, criticize or call your son or daughter-in-law nasty names. Don’t make snide remarks to your son about his wife and vice-versa, as this will only cause hurt feelings, and drive a wedge between you and your son and his wife or your daughter and her husband. You are no longer responsible for your son/daughter in the same way that you once were. Your son/daughter has taken on new responsibility; your son or daughter-in-law and any grandchildren that may bless their union, and you must respect that.
Treat your in-law as an adult who just happens to be married to your son or daughter. Your son/daughter chose him/her to be his wife or her husband, and you must accept that and respect his or her wishes. “A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife”, so you must remember that you are a guest in their marriage and in their home. You need to cultivate a loyalty to this new union by holding it in honor and respect, not undermine their relationship. Understand that as man and wife, your son and daughter-in-law need to set and maintain appropriate boundaries for their marital relationship.
They need to discover for themselves how to get along with the in-laws, and it may take them a little time to determine the right boundaries for them. Do not get pulled into arguments between your son and daughter-in-law. Be supportive and take a step back, respectfully allowing the couple to handle and deal with their own problems. Have trust and faith that you raised your son/daughter with the courage and ability to resolve any conflicts that arise in their marriage.
Explore your motives. Do you feel and act critical toward your son or daughter-in-law, wishing he/she were different in some way? Think about the reasons why you feel the need to judge and if you would want to be judged in the same way you are judging your daughter-in-law. Be willing to let your son or daughter-in-law make some mistakes. Let your daughter-in-law grow as a mother and as a wife. You didn’t start off being a perfect wife and mother, so don’t expect her to be perfect from the start either. Don’t presume to be all-knowing in regards to marriage and parenting. Showing respect and restraint is a gift to your son and daughter-in-law, as well as to your grandchildren.
Do not be a gossip. Do not, under any circumstances, gossip with family members, friends or acquaintances about your son or daughter-in-law. Anything you say will eventually get back to her and your son, and will inevitably create a situation where your son will start to feel less close to you and may decide to spend even less time with you than he has in the past. Not only will you be driving a wedge between family members and friends but, those you gossip to will lose trust and respect for you because of your negative gossip and criticism, causing friends and family to wonder what you may be saying about them behind their back.
Honesty and good communication. Develop good communication and reasonable expectations regarding the role you will play in your son or daughter-in-law’s lives. Questions you might consider asking your son or daughter-in-law include: How would you like me to help, and how will I know when you want my help? How will you let me know if I overstep any boundaries? What role would you like me to play in caring for the grandchildren in regards to feeding or discipline? What house rules have you set for the grandchildren so I am sure to abide by them? Be honest but not cruel in how you speak to or about your son or daughter-in-law, talking to and treating him/her as you would want to be spoken to and treated yourself.
Forgive and forget. You will from time to time say and do things that are perceived as wrong, and so will your son or daughter-in-law. At times you may not even be aware of what you did or said that was wrong. While your intention may be to be helpful and show you care, the effect it has on your son or daughter-in-law may be taken quite differently than you may have intended. Be forgiving and patient for any offenses or hurt feelings, so you can try to move forward in your efforts to build a better relationship with your son or daughter-in-law.
For the mother-in-law who absolutely refuses to make amends or won’t even try to get along with her daughter-in-law, author Camille Russo shares this reminder in her book, How to Be a Perfect Mother-In-Law
be a good mama for kids
Becoming a mother brings a range of roles that any stage or film actress might envy. Nurse, teacher, administrator, chauffeur, and coach are just some of the many duties a typical mom may have to perform.
But if you are a new mom or someone who is a little confused about the type of parent a mother should be, here are a few basic guidelines that may help you become a more effective mother:
2. Set good standards. Expect your kids to try hard at school, to treat authorities with courtesy, and to follow parental guidelines. When you lower the bar or issue contradictory mandates, the kids will become confused and possibly get off track. Clearly explain what you want them to do, and if applicable, tell them why. Start when they are young and they will never know to do anything else until they become teens and are exposed to other ideas and examples.
3. Be fair. Treat all your children in the same manner without favoring one over another. Be consistent in setting rules as well as issuing rewards and punishments. Kids quickly sense hypocrisy or favoritism, so do your best to treat them all the same. Don't say one thing and do another; rather, set the example as far as following the same rules yourself.
4. Have fun with them. Be sure to include time for play in your schedule. From tots to teens, your children love to see Mom laugh, and they are delighted when that laughter includes them. Read together, tell jokes, talk over the school day, wash dishes together, bathe the dog, shoot hoops, take a drive, have a milk shake. As they grow older, plan individual outings with each child to talk over dinner or go bowling, for example. Kids love being part of a family, but they want to know they matter as individuals, too.
5. Honor their father. Perhaps the greatest gift you can give your children is the gift of family security. When they see you kiss Dad or avoid a sharp argument, you reinforce their notion of unconditional love and relational forgiveness. They, in turn, will learn to base their future marriages on similar principles. Even if their father no longer lives in the home due to divorce or death, talk about him courteously, point out his good qualities, and mention the problem behaviors only when you must.
Moms play a pivotal role in children's development. Take time to reflect on your many opportunities to make family life meaningful and fun. Kids grow up quickly, and you won't get a second chance. |
Love Yourself
Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there are things you can do to boost your self-love.
Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves. So -- ask other people to tell you all the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love; it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you before you can value them in youself.
If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your voice mail, so you can read/listen to it over and over. Go back to it as many times as you can. Even if you don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your friend does see it and value it.
When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved.
Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Be as honest as you can. Modesty doesn't help you here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too. Most often, they do.
Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards. Make the notebook as beautiful as you can -- make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time you're feeling down or critical about yourself, or any time anyone says anything that triggers your criticalness of yourself.
Look at this good-things-about-yourself book as frequently as you can. It may seem silly, but repetition really does make a difference. (Just think of the impact one critical phrase said by a parent over and over to a child can have. It really does have an effect! Now try to give that child inside you at least one truly loving phrase about yourself that s/he can hold on to.)
In this society, we're taught that praising ourselves is selfish and wrong. But praising ourselves for things that are good about ourselves only helps us. It is a healing thing to do, something that nourishes our self-worth. When we love ourselves, we're happier and more true to our own selves...and that happiness and ability to be free spreads to others.
So...try to think of something that you like about yourself, or something that you did today that made you or someone else feel good -- no matter how small it may seem. Give yourself the kind of warm praise that you would a friend.
Close your eyes and think of a person you deeply love and trust, and who you know loves you-- a friend, a lover. Think about all the things you love and appreciate about them. Notice how that love feels inside you, how it makes you feel good.
Now turn it around the other way -- be your friend, feeling that same deep love for you. Trust in their love for you, and just feel it. Let yourself see your self through gentle eyes, with compassion and love the way your friend does, even if you can only do it for a moment. Now let yourself receive that love, the love you have as a friend to yourself. Feel the warmth move through you. Remember how it feels, and come back to that love another time.
Every time someone tells you something about yourself that makes you feel good, write it down or make a mental note and jot it down later. When you get home, put that note in a container of "good things about me." Decorate the container however you like. Keep on adding notes, and read them over every time you need a little boost -- and even when you don't feel like you do.
If you're feeling really judgemental about something you've done or said, try to understand where the judgement is coming from. Not the immediate, surface answer, but an answer deep down inside you. Are you afraid of something, or are you feeling insecure? Do you think you did something "wrong," or are you hearing the judgement of a voice from your past? Try to connect to that little kid inside of you who's feeling that way, and really listen to how s/he's feeling. Hug and reassure that kid, and let her/him know that s/he didn't do anything wrong, and that you love her/him.
You can also think of a friend having acted as you did. Imagine how you'd feel towards them -- how you'd still love them and readily forgive them if there was anything to forgive. You probably wouldn't even find it bothersome! Try to feel that same love and compassion for yourself.
If you're a survivor of child abuse or come from a dysfunctional family, you may still be waiting for a parent to give you the love and acceptance you never got as a child. But the kind of love you need (or needed as a child) probably isn't going to come from a parent who abused you or who looked the other way while you were being abused. But it can come from yourself.
It can be hard to give it to yourself at first -- after all, if you didn't receive love as a child, or if some of that love was torn away from you by violence, self-hate may have built up inside you. But you have the courage and strength to love yourself, if you've survived this long. And you do deserve it!
So try to connect to that little child inside, that child who deserves all of your love and acceptance.
I know, I know, this sounds corny. But if you hear good things about yourself over and over, you can't help but have some of it sink in.
Write out strong, loving things to say to yourself, even if you don't fully believe them. Some examples are:
- "I utterly and completely deserve love and kindness,"
- "I am a very loveable person,"
- "I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, and wise." (or subsitute the words for loving words that you feel best suit you.
Now put up those affirmations in places you'll see them every day -- on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table, next to your favourite chair, on the kitchen wall next to where you cook your food or eat a meal. Don't forget to read them.
If you're not comfortable having them up in such public places, then write out a bunch of them (or copies of a few) and put them in places you'll find them -- in your jacket or jeans pocket, in a book you're reading or a favourite book, in your desk drawer, in with your clothes. They're little love notes to yourself. In fact, you may want to do both things -- have them up and also hidden in places where you'll find them.
When you read an affirmation, read it slowly, and really let yourself feel it. Don't just say it by rote. Try to let yourself be there as fully as you can.
It's easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don't really listen to them, we've heard them so often -- but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.
Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things. Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself.
Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.
If you're having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.
Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things -- and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you'll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you'll seek them out -- and they will help build a good feeling inside you.
Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, "What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?" Don't force an answer -- just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you -- and you have great wisdom inside you.
Above all -- have compassion for yourself and for where you're at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person -- and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)
Daddy- Daughter relationship...tips
But with a little more understanding, fathers can feel just as comfortable around their daughters as they do their sons. It is certainly important for fathers to connect with their daughters. Family research suggests that daughters who have secure and loving relationships with their fathers:
- Have better grades in school
- Feel better about themselves
- Are more assertive without being aggressive
- Feel more confident in relationships with men in general
- Are more likely to be admitted to graduate school and get a degree
So what can a father do to create a loving and secure relationship with his daughter?
Start on Her Birthday. Fathers who best create this positive relationship start on the day she is born. Get involved in her life from the very outset. Take an active role in caring for this baby girl. The more time you spend with her earlier, the easier it will be to continue building the relationship later.
Teach Her New Things. While it is great when a dad teaches his daughter to ride a bike or to read or do chores, often the best things he can teach her are "guy things." Skills like fixing a car, fishing, golfing, or home repairs will serve a girl just as well as a boy, and will give her confidence that she can tackle anything. Just being with her dad doing things he is good at will be a real treat for her.
Listen Lots. Many daughters love to talk. Girls tend to vocalize more than the boys do growing up. What a dad can do to build his relationship with his daughter is to listen more. Pay attention to what she says when you are together. Listen to what she is thinking, dreaming and wishing in her life. And most of all, keep confidences. When she shares something with you that is private and bares her soul, don't repeat the story. It is one sure way to hurt your relationship when you violate a trust.
Make Time For Fun. Building fun memories in a positive environment can make a big difference, so.. take a time and do activities with your daughter. You could go for shopping, fishing etc.
Tell Her She's Beautiful. This will sound a little corny to some fathers, but it is important. Modern culture and the media often give our daughters messages that they need to be the right weight, wear the right makeup, dress stylishly and sometimes immodestly to be beautiful. When you tell your daughter she is beautiful, emphasize the importance of being beautiful inside – more than skin-deep. Compliment her when her eyes sparkle or when she breaks into a big smile.
Write Notes and Letters. You may remember from your dating years that girls love cards and notes and letters. Take the time occasionally to write your daughter a letter expressing your feelings, letting her know how you feel about her and how proud you are of her. These little personal expressions mean and lot to our daughters and are a good way of showing that you love her.
Be a Great Example of Manhood. The way your daughter sees you treat women makes a big difference in how she will see men later in her life. Be on your best behavior with her, her mother and other female friends and relatives. Simple courtesy and kindness will go a long way in helping her know what to expect of men in her later life.
Making time and expending energy in building your relationship with your daughter will pay big dividends over time. Even though it may seem like more fun to spend time with the boys, there is still nothing quite like the relationship that can develop between a daughter and her daddy.
Inspirational Quotes
The joy of cherishing your being, happy that you are.
You are simply in love with yourself, in love with existence.
~Tishan
If suffering alone taught, all the world
would be wise, since everyone suffers.
To suffering must be added mourning,
understanding, patience, love, openness,
and a willingness to remain vulnerable.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy...
~by Alanis Morisette, That I Would Be Good, 1998.
when there is somebody there who accepts him fully,
understands and supports him. If that is missing,
if the child must risk losing the mother's love,
or that of her substitute, then he cannot experience
these feelings secretly "just for himself"
but fails to experience them at all.
But nevertheless...something remains.
~by Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child, 1981.
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
the providence moves too.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents,
meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
~W. H. Murray (The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951)
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do
than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
~M. Twain
I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which I must stop and look fear in the face...
I say to myself, I've lived through this
and can take the next thing that comes along...
We must do the things that we think we cannot do.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.
It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth,
we transend it.
Once we truly know that life is difficult -
once we truly understand and accept it -
then life is no longer difficult.
Because once it is accepted,
the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
~M Scott Peck
It is not necessary to deny another's reality
in order to affirm your own.
~Anne Wilson Schaef
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is "look under foot."
You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive.
The great opportunity is where you are.
Do not despise your own place and hour.
Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world.
~John Burroughs
In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter
as much as the way we have loved one another.
~Daphne Rose Kingman
Learning to love differently is hard,
love with the hands wide open, love
with the doors banging on their hinges,
the cupboard unlocked, the wind
roaring and whimpering in the rooms...
~Marge Piercy
from her poem, To Have Without Holding
This world conceals everything,
unless you're ready to undo it.
Then, everything appears as a piece of the infinite
and you are no different from it.
~Brita LaTona
To see the world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wildflower
hold infinity
in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour.
~William Blake
The world we have created is a product of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
~Albert Einstein
The drop grows happy by losing itself in the river.
~Mirza Ghalib
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as if everything is.
~Albert Einstein
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
~Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.
Neither need you do anything but be yourself.
~Lao Tzu
I was always looking outside myself
for strength and confidence,
but it comes from within.
It is there all the time.
~Anna Freud
Truly it is in the darkness that one finds the light,
so when we are in sorrow,
then this light is nearest of all to us.
~Meister Eckhart
Stop leaving and you will arrive.
Stop searching and you will see.
Stop running away and you will be found.
~Lao Tzu
What if the question is not
why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be,
but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?
~Oriah Mountain Dreamer
You need not do anything.
Remain sitting at your table and listen.
You need not even listen, just wait.
You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still and solitary.
And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked.
It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
~Franz Kafka
You are me, and I am you.
Isn't it obvious that we "inter-are"?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.
~Rumi
When you do things from your soul,
you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
When actions come from another section,
the feeling disappears.
~Rumi
...once again we face a paradox, for it appears
that softening your heart and gently tending its wounds
will protect you from evil.
Building a fortress and defending yourself behind it will
only make you more vulnerable.
Healing your own heart is the single
most powerful thing you can do
to change the world.
Your own transformation will enable you to withdraw
so completely from evil
that you contribute to it by not one word, one thought, or one breath.
This healing process is like recovering your soul.
~Deepak Chopra
The Deeper Wound Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering, 2001
Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
~Melinda Sue Pacho
if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
~Sarah McLachlan
If I accept the sunshine
and warmth,
then I must also accept
the thunder and lightning.
-Kahlil Gibran
May the stars carry your sadness away,
May the flowers fill your heart with beauty,
May hope forever wipe away your tears,
And, above all, may silence make you strong.
~Chief Dan George
...in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
~Anne Frank
When you follow your bliss...
doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors;
and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.
~Joseph Campbell
To be yourself -
in a world which is doing its best, night and day,
to make you like everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight,
and never stop fighting.
~E.E. Cummings
Meditation is being happy with yourself for no reason at all.
The joy of cherishing your being, happy that you are.
You are simply in love with yourself, in love with existence.
~Tishan
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
~Antoine de Saint Exupery
There is in all visible things...a hidden wholeness.
~Thomas Merton
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches.
If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise,
since everyone suffers.
To suffering must be added mourning,
understanding, patience, love, openness,
and a willingness to remain vulnerable.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Love is the way messengers from the mystery tell us things.
~Nisargadatta Maharaj
When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.
~Anais Nin
Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves.
We must learn to respect them.
We must learn to listen.
~Sarah Ban Breathnach
Let everything about you breathe the calm and peace of the soul.
~Author Unknown
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear...
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring...
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
~Leo Buscaglia
Nothing is so strong as gentleness
and nothing is so gentle as real strength.
~Ralph W. Sockman
To make peace, our hearts must be at peace with the world.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
Find a place (inside) where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
~Joseph Campbell
The goal of life
is to make your heartbeat
match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
~Joseph Campbell
The liveness in me just loves to feel
the liveness in growing things,
in grass and rain and leaves and flowers
and sun and feathers and furs
and earth and sand and moss.
~Emily Carr
It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
~Joseph Campbell
Opportunities
to find deeper powers
within ourselves
come when life
seems most challenging.
~Joseph Campbell
We must be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned, so as to have
the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.
~Joseph Campbell
Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrity's.
The latter cannot understand it when a man
does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices
by honestly and courageously using his intelligence.
~Albert Einstein
We must not ignore
the small daily differences we can make
which, over time, add up
to big differences
that we often cannot foresee.
~Marian Wright Edelman
Opportunity stands beside you every moment,
and one of its favorite disguises is that of obstacles.
~Author Unknown
Be the change you want to see in the world.
~Mahatma Gandhi
Civilization is just a slow process of learning to be kind.
~Charles L. Lucas
I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it.
~Marshall McLuhan
To overcome difficulties
is to experience the full delight of existence.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
~Helen Keller
When one door of happiness closes another opens,
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one which is opened before us.
~Helen Keller
We are each a gift,
exactly as we are in this moment,
with no improvements!
~SARK
You gotta dance like nobody's watching,
dream like you will live forever,
live like you're going to die tomorrow,
and love like it's never going to hurt.
~Meme Grifsters
We are living in enchanted time.
With our spirits right
~Ben Okri
Your hearts know in silence the secrets
of the days and nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of
your heart's knowledge.
~Kahlil Gibran
Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do.
Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
~Ella Fitzgerald
We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
The most authentic thing about us
Is our capacity to create, to overcome,
To endure, to transform, to love,
And to be greater than our suffering.
~Ben Okri
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that frightens us.
~Marianne Williamson
When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed.
But when we are silent, we are still afraid.
So it is better to speak.
~Audre Lorde
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.
~The Buddha
One can never consent to creep
when one feels the impulse to soar.
~Helen Keller
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
~Jacquie
...and then the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
The appearance of things change according to the emotions,
and thus we see magic and beauty in them,
while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.
~Kahlil Gibran
Never doubt
that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens
can change the world:
indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
~Margaret Mead
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